I couldn't find sleep until I finaly wrote this words down. And the next day I overworked it with the use of an English dictionary to fix the biggest bugs. I hope it is not to scrappy, cause I'm not as good in writting English as I used to be. But still I tend to prefer this language over my native one. Because is easier to keep an certain distance to my feelings. So that my emotions can't overwhelm me so easily, because I have to use my brain more to give it the right meaning and to check and find other words to express the feelings.

Besides this, the words tended to rhyme themselves and I don't like to do this in German because it just sound too corny to me then *shrugs*

There is no special religious message attempted. But I thought for minutes over the last paragraph to find a proper rhyme for "go" and all what was popping up was only the word "Jericho". I tried to prevent this until the last metaphor just flashed through my mind and I just find it so perfectly fitting at all

So I wrote this words not in an acute bad condition but as I did it I remembered this times very well. So I thought of sharing my experience with dealing with the urge for self-harm in another way, an 'healthier' option to take care of the overwhelming flood concerned persons might know...

This is one way for distress regulation to prevent self-injury and describes my personal struggle to keep up a constant mindfulness to take care of myself and to prevent impulse actions during high-distress periods. Especially because it would be the best not letting the gauge rise so high that it meets the "point-of-no-return" from the first.